Joke !!!

Ah sure they don't make em like they used to

The first says: "Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one. At MacDougal's, you buy a drink, you buy another drink, and MacDougal himself will buy your third drink!"

The second then starts: "That sounds like a nice bar, but where I come from, there's a better one called Quinns. At Quinns, you buy a drink, Quinn buys you a drink. You buy another drink, Quinn buys you another drink."

Then the third pipes up. "You think that's good? Where I come from, there's this place called Murphy's. At Murphy's, they buy you your first drink, they buy you your second drink, they buy you your third drink, and then, they take you in the back and get you laid!"
"Wow!" say the other two. "That sounds fantastic! Did that actually happen to you?" "No," replies their friend, "but it happened to my sister!"

Murphy walked with his dog every day all through the villiage, so everyone knew both Murphy and his dog. One day Murphy is on his walk without the dog. Cronin sees Murphy and asks, "Where is your dog?". Murphy answers, " I had to have him put down." "Was he mad", asks Cronin." "He wasn't too pleased," says Murphy.

An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!" The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?" The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken." The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?" "Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'."

This is not a joke either...Donald Trump will be running this country for the next four years

Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.

Paddy says: "Are you on foot or in the car?"

Billy replies: "In the car." "Well that's the quickest way," says Paddy

Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy has a bag of doughnuts in his hand.

Paddy says to Mick: "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both."

Six Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died.

The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend’s house to tell the wife.

The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.”

The wife says, “Tell him to drop dead!” The man responds, “I’ll go tell him.”

A wife said to her husband, 'You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back.' He said, 'What do you expect? You're in a wheelchair.'