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Joke !!! |
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Don Don 
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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 Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:22 |
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Where do doubtful Egyptians swim?
In de-Nile |
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:25 |
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“There was a race in the kitchen. The cabbage is ahead! The water is running! And the tomato is trying to ketchup
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:29 |
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“What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn? Where's popcorn?”
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:30 |
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“what happened to the magical tractor? it turned into a field”
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:35 |
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Why was the duck sad about autumn?
It had to go quack to school |
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:38 |
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“why was the cow sad about being born? because he though he was a miSTEAK”
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:39 |
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“What's green, has horns, and is all around? Grass (I lied about the horns)”
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:40 |
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“What do you call an apricot in jail? Apri-caught”
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:44 |
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“What do you call a saw with glasses?
A see-saw” |
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:48 |
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“Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in-tents |
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:50 |
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“What's Great about Living in switzerland? Well, the flag is a Big plus
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:54 |
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“How did Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
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Don Don
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74 78 Joined: 05-November-2010 Location: Dublin Status: Offline Points: 470 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 17:55 |
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“What rock group has 4 men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore!”
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Biker Pat
I spend too much time here!!! 
72-75 Joined: 26-April-2005 Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti Status: Offline Points: 38089 |
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Posted: 01-October-2014 at 22:31 |
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Welcome back Gerry.................your jokes as as good as ever
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May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.
Biker Pat Grove 1972-1975 |
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Vinyl Junkie
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79-86 (roughly) Joined: 18-August-2006 Location: Skerries, Dublin Status: Offline Points: 14121 |
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Posted: 02-October-2014 at 11:04 |
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Alright Gerry - "been a long time.....", as Led Zeppelin would say.
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TPFKAB (The Poster Formerly Known As Brunswick).
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Rolo
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�79 - �85 Joined: 08-July-2005 Status: Offline Points: 9282 |
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Posted: 03-October-2014 at 12:07 |
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With jokes like that..................just as well
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Biker Pat
I spend too much time here!!!
72-75 Joined: 26-April-2005 Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti Status: Offline Points: 38089 |
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Posted: 03-October-2014 at 12:27 |
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An old man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender notices the guy's head is the size of a cue ball.
"I got to ask, sir," says the bartender. "What happened?" The old guy sighs and tells him, "My ship was torpedoed by the Germans in WWII. A mermaid rescued me and promised to grant me three wishes. For my first wish, I asked to return to the States. My second wish was to have all the money I would ever need. Finally, my third wish was to have sex with the mermaid." "That doesn't sound too bad," says the bartender. "Then what happened?" "Well," sighs the man, "mermaids can't have sex, so I asked her if I could just have a little head... ."  and dashes off before the Moderator reads this  |
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May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.
Biker Pat Grove 1972-1975 |
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Biker Pat
I spend too much time here!!!
72-75 Joined: 26-April-2005 Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti Status: Offline Points: 38089 |
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Posted: 03-October-2014 at 12:30 |
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The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with George always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.'' |
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May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.
Biker Pat Grove 1972-1975 |
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Biker Pat
I spend too much time here!!!
72-75 Joined: 26-April-2005 Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti Status: Offline Points: 38089 |
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Posted: 03-October-2014 at 12:31 |
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A man is participating in a golf tournament. He was left to golf with just his caddy. On his tee-off, the golfer's ball lands in a patch of buttercups. The caddy tells the golfer he can take the ball onto the course, and he won't take a one stroke penalty. However, the golfer refuses and takes the ball out of the buttercups and takes the stroke penalty. Suddenly, Mother Nature appears. "What you just did was amazing. I am so proud that you enjoy nature and all of its beauty. For your reward, I will give you a lifetime supply of butter." "Thanks," says the man. "But where were you last week when my ball landed in the pussywillows?" |
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May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.
Biker Pat Grove 1972-1975 |
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Biker Pat
I spend too much time here!!!
72-75 Joined: 26-April-2005 Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti Status: Offline Points: 38089 |
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Posted: 03-October-2014 at 12:35 |
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Joke from Don Don's book
Q: Why did the chicken say, "Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?" A: He was studying foreign languages. |
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May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.
Biker Pat Grove 1972-1975 |
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