Pogues and Dondons Jokes only
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URL: http://www.theGroveSocialClub.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=825
Printed Date: 27-September-2024 at 15:16
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Topic: Pogues and Dondons Jokes only
Posted By: Aries
Subject: Pogues and Dondons Jokes only
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 13:11
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Now there yiz go lads. A thread just for you and your jokes. Everyone else ( with decent jokes,) please use other Joke thread ------------- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST |
Replies:
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 13:13
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SEE, I couldn't resist. Had to check already.....  Jazus------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: joey the lips
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 13:42
 ------------- You can checkout anytime u like but u can never leave |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 13:44
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I'm telling me Mammy on yis ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: joey the lips
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 14:12
Thats quite funny DonDon ------------- You can checkout anytime u like but u can never leave |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 14:30
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------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 14:44
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One day Tarzan, Jane and three elephants walked into a bar. The bartender said "What is this, some kind of joke?" __________________ ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 09-March-2010 at 15:57
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Why didn't the sailors play cards? - Because the captain was sitting on the deck. What happened when the cow jumped over a barbed wire fence? Utter destruction! Why can't Cindirela play baseball? She ran away from the ball. What does an elephant do when it breaks it's toe? It calls a toe truck! ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 10:42
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Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Aries
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 10:59
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Dondon There is a danger that some of the above may qualify for the real Joke page as they are funny Be careful............................. ------------- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 11:45
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Three pieces of string walk into a bar. One goes to order drinks and the
barman says-"We don't serve pieces of string in here". The second one goes to the bar to order drinks and the barman tells him-"We don't serve pieces of string in here". The third piece of string who is dressed like a punk, in tatters and his hair in a mess goes to the bar . The barman looks at him and asks- "Are you a piece of string?" and the piece of string says "No-I'm a frayed knot" |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 11:49
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A horse and a dog are sitting at a bar and the horse asks for a drink. When
he goes to the toilet the dog says to the barman "That's very unusual" and the bartender asks "What -a horse drinking Guinness?" and the dog says "No--a talking horse" OK--I admit it....I made that up 
|
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 12:02
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A panda walks into a bar. It asked for a burger, shoots a man at the counter, and leaves. The next day, he does the same thing. On the 3rd day, the bartender asks the panda why he does this. The panda says, 'Look up panda in the dictionary and youll find out why.' So the bartender looks up panda in the dictionary, and what does it say? Panda: Eats shoots and leaves! ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 12:16
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Paddy Grove man, Paddy English and Paddy Scotch Man are at the Grove. They are all looking at Patricia Grove Girl on the dance floor with her friends Celcil starts a slow set.Paddy English Man asks her to dance She says "NO thanks" Paddy Scotch Man then asks her to dance she says" NO thanks" Paddy Grove Man is watching whats going on and then goes over and says to Her "NO thanks " Patrica Grove Girl replies "Would you like to dance" So they both dance together all night , get married and have 5 children and one of them is Chinese. Because 1 in 5 people in the world are chinese DON DON ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 13:07
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Time for a drink... ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: Black Russian
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 13:20
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Time to Barr a few people from this site methinks
------------- "Legal downloads is killing Piracy" http://www.flickr.com/groups/th |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 13:32
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That's hilarious ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Rolo
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 14:08
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Just on this, as we all know,one in five people in the world in Chinese and so it follows that in our family of five there has to be one. There's me Da,Joe,me Mam, Mary,meself,my brother Lee Wing Han and me sister Janet. If you were to ask me,I'd say it's Janet. |
DONDON wrote:Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 14:39
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Paddy Grove Man was dancing a slow set with Janet one hung low. He said to her "Can I have the last dance with you " She replied " Your having it Paddy" ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 15:54
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That means that there are two Chinese in our family...I think Pogue had that new eye surgery. Now let me think of which one is the other.....I vote for the eldest in the family Jimbo, cause he was the first born and then came FIVE girls before the other 5 brothers came along. Maybe the Ma n Da thought they couldn't have kids and adopted Jimbo then they started popping them out on their own. ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 21:29
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Lizzy Lee, Marie Ho, Suzy Chen, Karen Wong and Lori Chung entered a
lookalike competition...everybody won. oldie heh |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 21:32
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Ans: to collect her old age pension Do you get it? Neither did the chicken because she wasn't sixty five. |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 10-March-2010 at 21:47
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A man wakls into a bar and says"C-c-c-can I h-h-have a P-p- p- pint of
G-g-g-g Guinness p-p-p-lease". The bartender gives him a pint and says "H-h-here you g-g-g-go s-s- s-s-ir a p-p-p-p-int of t-t-t-the b-b-b-est f-f-for you" He drinks it and says-"C-c-c-can I h-h-have a-a-a nuther p-p- p- pint of G-g-g-g Guinness p-p-p-lease". he bartender gives him a pint and says "H-h-here you g-g-g-go s-s-s- s-ir that w-w-w-will b-be t-t-t-two and s-s-sixpence p-p-lease" Another man walks into the bar and says in a thick english accent-"I say my good man! May I have one pint of Guinness when you get a chance?" The bartender says "Why of course you may, my good chap, a pint of the best for the gentleman coming up" The first guy calls the bartender over and says-"H-h-h-hey Y-y-y-you! are y-y-y-ou m-m-making fun of me?" ...and the barman says "N-n-n-n-oo, I'm m-m-m-aking f-f-fun of h- h-h-him" |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 03:25
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Man at bus stop- "Excuse me-Does the bus from here go straight to town?"
Skinhead-"Doo Da Doo da" Man - "Does the bus from here go straight to town?" Skinhead-"Oh de Doo Da Day" |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 10:19
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Mary had a little bear That was all sweet and kind And everywhere that Mary went You could see her bear behind.
Little Bo peep ............... did it for the Insurance ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 13:06
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Jazus Mary n Joseph, HA HA, but here I am like an eejit still reading them.
------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 14:45
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A chicken walked over to a duck that was standing at the side of the road. The Chicken said"Dont do it, pal. You'll never hear the end of it" Paddy Grove Man and his wife were lying in bed one night but their chances of sleep were being wrecked by their neighbours dog barking loudly in the garden. Eventually Paddy Grove Man said" To hell with this!And he stormed off. Five minutes later, he came back up stairs. What did you do?" asked his wife. Padddy said: "I've put the dog in our garden - let's see how they like it" A man walked into a record shop and asked the assistant:" Have you anything by The DOORS?" "Yes , she said,"a bucket and a fire extinguisher" ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Vinyl Junkie
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 14:57
Excellent! ------------- TPFKAB (The Poster Formerly Known As Brunswick). |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 15:05
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What was Meat Loaf's favorite musical instrument at School The Dinner Bell ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 15:33
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A semi professional singer went for an audition at a local Club. The club secretary said" I hope you're not a hypnotist. "We don't want any more hypnotists here" The Man said: "No I'm not, I'm a singer.But what's the problem with hypnotists?" The secretary said "We had one here last week. With 12 people on stage in a trance, he tripped over the microphone stand and muttered:' sh*t' We've been clearing up ever since" ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 16:18
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David Beck was flying out to the Beijing Olympics. A reporter asked Him whether he was taking chopsticks. David replied :"No she's staying at home with Kids"
(Slow burner) Brendan Fella and Pogue were at the grove they saw no action all night,then Pogue came back after a slow set with two Girls. Brendan said "There Like Buses" Why queried Pogue" because you wait for ages and then two come along at once?" "No, Said Brendan. "They are like buses ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 16:55
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A lion was becoming rather old and slo and was having trouble catching prey. He decided he needed a disguise so thatother animals would not know he was a lion and would therefore not run away. So he went into a fancy dress shop and bought a gorilla suit.He then headed for a watering hole to see if he could catch something with his cunning diguise. On the way he came across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle said "Hi Mr Lion" The other said "where did you get that gorilla suit" The Lion was devastated. "How did you know I was a Lion?" he asked
The eagles then started to sing" you can't hide your Lion eyes..." ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 17:33
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why did audiences sream so loudly at the beatles concerts?
It was the shock of seeing four scousers working.
There's one thing I really hate about my New Thai bride------ She keeps leaving the Toilet seat up. ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 11-March-2010 at 20:59
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Man, I can't believe I'm actually laughing out loud at this stuff. Gerry, do you have a real job, cause if you do I'd like a job there. And don't come back n tell me you're a "jokewriter"...LOL ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 09:31
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Nope Brendan, not a joke writer.I am enjoying the site for the memories and the craic...........hush Jasus! here come the nurse I will be back shortly .I hope Don Don ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 10:02
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A Man went to a store to buy a chimney. "How much is this one?"he asked. The sales assistant replied. "Oh. it's on the House" ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: joey the lips
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 10:08
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i am starting to like this thread,,god i need to get out more often ------------- You can checkout anytime u like but u can never leave |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 10:30
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A women went into a butcher's shop and said"I'd like an oxtail please. The butcher said: " Certainly,madam. Once upon a time there was an ox......"
A man walked past the refigerator and heard two onions sing a BEE GEEs song.
When he opened the fridge door, it was just chives talking.
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Kay Fagan
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 12:30
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I know how you feel ------------- Kay Fagan |
Posted By: Aries
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 13:13
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Oh God !! What have I started...... ------------- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 14:12
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A woman said to her friend:"Whenever I'm down in the dumps I buy myself a new dress. "Really?" said her friend.I've allways wondered where you got them. Two Farmers were standing in a field.One said:"Have you seen my flock of cows?" The other corrected him:"Herd of Cows". " Course I've herd of Cows.I have a whole flock of them!"
A little boy greeted his Grandma with a hug and said: "I'm so happy to see you, Grandma.Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us" "What's tricks that? " She asked" "Well" said the little boy excitedly, I heard Daddy tell Mammy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit A girl told her boyfriend: "You will have to make sacrifices in a relationship" So he went out and slaughtered a Goat ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 14:45
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This is an olde A deer was trying to cross a busy road but the traffic was very heavy.After he had been trying unsuccesfully for five minutes, a bear walked pass and said:"Excuse me, there's a Zebra crossing a bit further along the road." The deer replied: "Well I hope he's having better luck than I am." A man phoned a budget airline to book a flight.The operator asked: "How many people will be travelling with you?" "How should I know?" said the Man... "It's your plane" ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 16:55
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A man was reported to the animal welfare authorities for feeding Viagra to his pet Labrador. The Man is now banned from keeping pets. And the Labrador is now a pointer.
A Man rang up an incontinence helpline and told the advisor " Before I go into the details, is all the information I give you confidential" "Of course," said the advisor. "Now where are you ringing from?" " The Waist down ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 19:35
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HEY... your friend just called you an ass?
Heee Hawww Heeee Haaaalways calls me that. |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 12-March-2010 at 19:40
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Two elephants and a cymbal fall off a cliff BOOM BOOM ...tsssssh! |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 15-March-2010 at 13:12
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Driving along a remote country road a driver saw a sign that said. "Watch For Falling Rocks" A few miles later he spotted some small rocks by the side of the road and picked a few up and put them in his car. When he reached the next town, he took them to the highway maintenace office. Placing them on the counter, he said to the official "Here are your falling rocks.Now where's my watch?"
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 16-March-2010 at 03:12
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A fellow goes to a massage parlour and asks for the works. A slim
blonde woman with big breasts works on his back and shoulders for a while before telling him to turn over. When he turns over she can see he is more than a bit excited and asks him if he'd like a wank. The man is surprised at her forwardness but takes her up on her offer. "I sure would " he said. She gives him a wink and says-"OK--I'll be back in a few minutes". He lies on the table wondering what she has in mind. He never dreamed something as good as this would happen to him at the local massage parlour. His mind wanders to all types of exotic fantasies . After about five minutes he begins to think she is taking too long to come back. Ten minutes pass and he is going crazy. Fifteen minutes, he's about to go insane when suddenly he hears the door opening . The blonde woman sticks her head in and whispers --"Did you have it yet?" |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 16-March-2010 at 16:15
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A tramp said to a Businessman in the street."Mister, I haven't tasted food for a week." "Dont worry said the businessman."It still taste the same "
A guy walked into a bar and saw Van Gogh sitting ona stool. "Hi,Vince he said." Can I get you a drink?" "No your'e okay" said Van Gogh I got one 'ere"
A bank robber walked over to a hostage and said:"Did you see my Face " "Yes said the hostage . And the robber shot him dead. Then he turned to the next man and asked "Did you see my face ?" "No he said. But My Wife did "
A husband wanted his eighty three year old wife dead and asked a hitman how he would do it. "I would shoot off her left nipple " said the hitman. The husband threw up his hands in horror, exclaiming: I want her dead - not kneecapped.
Did you hear about the blonde who thought the world's most prolific inventor was an Irishman named Pat Pending
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 17-March-2010 at 19:36
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Two Irishmen leave a bar...
No... Hold on, that can't be right |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 17-March-2010 at 19:40
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Whats green, four miles long and has an IQ of 127?
The Saint Paddys Day parade |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 18-March-2010 at 10:12
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My Uncle had his tongue shot off during the Vietnam War, but he doesn't talk about it ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 19-March-2010 at 03:52
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Two babies in a cot. One asks the other -"Are you a boy or a girl". The baby
peeks under the blanket and says-"I'm a boy". The first asks- "How do you know" and the other says -"I'm wearing blue booties" |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 19-March-2010 at 09:03
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WHAT GOES CLUCK CLUCK BANG! A CHICKEN IN A MINE FIELD
foxgloves: Worn by foxes to avoid leaving fingerprints when killing chickens ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 19-March-2010 at 10:45
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Two farmers are passing a field when one says-"I made love for the very
first time in the corner of that field". "In the field?" the other asked-" ...right in front of the farmhouse?" "Yes, I was in that corner and her mother was standing right over there" pointing to the other corner- " You were making love with her mother standing a only few yards away?" He asked-"What did her mother say?" "Maaaaa-aa!" says the other farmer |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 19-March-2010 at 15:27
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When your travelling between Russia and Alaska, you must first get your Bering straight. This one's for Brenan Fella IF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEAD WHILE OTHERS AROUND YOU ARE LOSING THEIRS, YOU MAY WANT TO LAND YOUR HELICOPTER SOMEHERE ELSE. the first day at the nudist colony is allways the hardest. GARDENING TIP:::: If you water the lawn with beer the grass will come up half cut.
DERMATOLOGISTS OFTEN MAKE RASH STATMENTS .
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 19-March-2010 at 17:43
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Did you hear about the budgie that ate a plank?
wooden budge |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 24-March-2010 at 17:29
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A YOUNG GUY SAID TO A CONSPICUOUSLY UGLY GIRL: "WHATS YOUR NAME" "THURSDAY" SHE REPLIED. "THAT'S AN UNUSUAL NAME" YEAH, WHEN I WAS BORN MY MOM AND DAD LOOKED INTO THE COT AND SAID,"I THINK WE WILL CALL IT A DAY!" ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: joey the lips
Date Posted: 25-March-2010 at 08:58
Jeez ,if ya keep going Dondon with these jokes ,you might be allowed back into the joke section ------------- You can checkout anytime u like but u can never leave |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 25-March-2010 at 12:14
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God summoned Jesus for a paternal chat"Have you found any work yet, my Son" he asked. "Yes" replied Jesus."I've been offered two jobs- one as a Carpenter on Mars at €25.00 a year and one on Earth at €30.000 a year " "So which one will you choose"? said God "I think I will take the the job on Mars" replied Jesus. God was mystified."But you have been offered €30,000 on Earth and only €25,00 on Mars". "Yes said Jesus," but last time I was Earth I was hammered with Tax ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Aries
Date Posted: 25-March-2010 at 13:10
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Straight to hell with you dondon.... ------------- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 25-March-2010 at 14:31
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Man walked into a bar with a Banana on his head.As he served him, the barman said."look, I don't know if you realise this, but you have a banana on your head. "That's okay, " said the Man. "I allways wear a banana on my head on Tuesdays." "But today is Wednesday" said the Barman. "It's not, is it? groaned the Man." Oh no! I must look a complete Idiot As ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 25-March-2010 at 17:25
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Not the only feckin' idiot around here.... Jaz, you arseholes make my day ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 26-March-2010 at 08:43
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river ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 26-March-2010 at 08:48
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Two older Men were sitting down to breakfast. One said to the other:"Do you know you've got a suppository in your ear?" "Really" said his friend, removing the suppository. "I'm so glad you pointed that out".Now I think I remember where I put my hearing aid " ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 26-March-2010 at 09:01
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DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO ENTERED A CONTEST FOR THE MOST PROMIENT VEINS? SHE DIDN'T WIN,BUT SHE CAME VARICOSE ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: joey the lips
Date Posted: 26-March-2010 at 09:07
You just gotta laugh  ------------- You can checkout anytime u like but u can never leave |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 26-March-2010 at 10:21
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Last week I saw a Man playing"Dancing Queen" on the Didgeridoo. I though. "That's aboriginal" ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 27-March-2010 at 02:20
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A man goes to the doctor with spongecake coming out of one ear and
jelly and custard coming out of the other" And the doctor says- "You are a trifle deaf" A man goes into a French restaurant and asks the waiter-"Do you have frog's legs" and the waiter says-"Yes" and the man says-"Hop over there and get me a beer" Get me some turtle soup and make it snappy A man in a french restaurant asks his friend-"What's soup du jour?" and his friend answers-"It's mushroom, I had it yesterday." A man walks into a restaurant and orders an egg sandwich and a chicken sandwich to see which will come first. |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 28-March-2010 at 04:07
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Q. How do you put a giraffe into the
fridge? Q. How do you put an elephant in the
fridge? Noah invited all the animals to a meeting on
how to cross the alligator infested waters. A. The elephant, he was in the fridge. ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 28-March-2010 at 04:58
|
A guy is crazy about a girl in his office but she will have nothing to do
with him. He knew Elvis was coming to town and that she was his number one fan, so he asked her if she'd like o go to see Elvis with him. He told her that Elvis was a personal friend from his school days and that he always went for a few drinks with him and the band after the show, He said Elvis had personally given him the center seats third row. She didn't believe a word of it, but just in case, she took him up on his offer. When they went to the concert, right enough he had the best seats in the house and she was impressed. While the band was warming up on stage he said he wanted to go say hi to Elvis and he would be back in a minute. He snook out a side door and along the corridor to Elvis' dressing room but the bodyguards caught him and beat the hell out of him and kicked him out of the theatre. While he was bleeding in the alley he saw a second floor window open and he climbed up the drainpipe. When he got inside the bodyguards caught him again and were giving him a terrible beating when Elvis peeked out of his dressing room to see what all the commotion was and saw Jimmy bleeding all over the shop. Elvis jumped on him and started giving him karate chops and kicks but the poor fellow pleaded with him to stop--"Elvis!- he cried , please don't kill me ...I am in love with this girl and...." he went on and told Elvis the whole story about how he is in love with the office girl and he told her that he was a personal friend, and If only Elvis would just give him a nod, the girl might fall in love with him and.. "- Elvis explained that he could not just give any Tom, Dick or Harry a nod from the stage or everyone fan wold expect one, but when he saw that Jimmy was so upset he said he would make an exception. He promised he would say "Hi Jimmy" from the stage, and hopefully he would have luck with the girl. Jimmy thanked Elvis and returned to his seat bruised and covered in blood. The girl asked what had happened and he said that while he was teaching Elvis a few moves in karate he jumped a bit too high, went over the bannisters and fell down the stairs. As she was about to question him the music started and the lights came on. The band started up with the intro to "My Way"'and "ladies and gentlemen i present to you the king of Rock and Roll!" ...Elvis appeared out of he spotlight. He picked up his guitar and walked to the front of the stage, nodded to the the third row center and said "Hiya Jimmy,,rilly nice to see ya here" and Jimmy nodded back and said said "Ah-would you ever go and f**k off Elvis, I'm with my girlfriend" |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 29-March-2010 at 13:24
|
Man went into a barber's. The barber said shall I cut your hair around the back,Sir" The Man said:"What's wrong with doing it in the shop.
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 31-March-2010 at 22:50
|
Dear Administrator:
Can DonDon have a joke thread all to himself please |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 01-April-2010 at 01:58
|
good bye all Don don ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 01-April-2010 at 03:45
|
Dondon is leaving the building site one day with a wheelbarrow full of sand.
The foreman stops him and sifts through the sand, thinking he is stealing something, but the forerman finds only sand in the wheelbarrow. The next day he catches Dondon leaving with a wheelbarrow full of bricks, he searches through the bricks but finds nothing. The next day it was a wheelbarrow full of newspapers...and this went on every day. Finally after years Dondon retired and at his going away party the foreman asked him what was going on. He said "I know you were stealing something all of those years Dondon" and Dondon says-"OK I admit it, I was stealing wheelbarrows" |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 01-April-2010 at 13:21
|
Jazus, Of all the nerve...... ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: whippersnapper
Date Posted: 01-April-2010 at 20:49
Yeah, I reckon Pogue was worried about Dondon bringing the quality up on this thread  ------------- I'm searching for that cash I should have saved for the crash |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 01-April-2010 at 23:52
| Be careful now...Hal Roach is in heaven and can hear you guys. |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 01-April-2010 at 23:54
Poor old Dondon..His jokes were bad but not that bad that he had to go hang himself. |
Posted By: Aries
Date Posted: 06-April-2010 at 13:10
|
I see he hasn't been around. Hope he didn't take it seriously ????? ------------- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 06-April-2010 at 13:18
|
Jeez, where are the two of them? I don't think either one of them take anything serious. They sure don't take the meaning of the word "JOKE" serious...LOL ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: Aries
Date Posted: 06-April-2010 at 13:52
|
Thats true..but you'd hate them to be sulkin' ------------- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-April-2010 at 10:39
|
HOW DO YOU GET EVEN WITH A BLIND GUY?????
LEAVE A PLUNGER IN THE TOILLET
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: Aries
Date Posted: 12-April-2010 at 11:10
|
Ah! DONDON your back ------------- THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE BUT IT'LL PISS YOU OFF FIRST |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-April-2010 at 11:14
|
Hi All, I was away on a small holiday. DON DON
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-April-2010 at 11:35
|
THE GOVERNMENT OF DUBAI HAVE BANNED THE FLINTSTONES THEY WON'T LET IT BE SCRENED ANYWHERE IN THE COUNTRY,
WHICH IS STARNGE BECAUSE..........ABU DHABI DO . ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: joey the lips
Date Posted: 12-April-2010 at 11:46
I believe Portrane is nice at this time of year ------------- You can checkout anytime u like but u can never leave |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 12-April-2010 at 12:13
|
It's good to be back on track...........I mean on line ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 13-April-2010 at 10:34
|
A Farmer's young Son ran into the house and said"Mommy Mommy .the bull is shagging the cow! "Timmy, please!" cried his mother, agast."Dont use language like that.You must be polite.You have to say the Bull is 'surprising the cow'." Twenty minutes later, the boy ran in again."Mommy Mommy.the Bull is surprising all the Cows!" "He can't be surprising all the cows,Timmy "He is. He's shagging the Horse!"
"
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 16-April-2010 at 15:51
|
Why did the Chicken lay her egg on an axe She wanted to hachet.
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it? By dropping it seven feet---- it won't break for the first six feet ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 16-April-2010 at 17:59
Jeez oh man......Don't you have another vacation coming up? ...LOL------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 17-April-2010 at 04:56
|
A kid walks up to his friend and says -"Guess what I have behind my
back-It begins with the letter "N" and the other kid answers "Is it a norange?" "NO" "Is it a napple?" "NO" "Is it a nelephant?" "NO-FFS it's not" "OK- I give up, what it it?" "It's a nunion" |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 17-April-2010 at 16:46
|
your the best pogue the best don don ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 17-April-2010 at 18:39
|
And here we have DONDON actually complimenting his newfound long lost brother....LOL ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Posted By: verh
Date Posted: 18-April-2010 at 22:15
|
Another brother ?????????????? How many of you are there ? ------------- Verona |
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 19-April-2010 at 02:03
|
Brendan is the only illegitimate child in the family
|
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 19-April-2010 at 12:36
|
Why does the french flag have Velcro. So the blue and red sections can be easily removed in times of War....
What's the Capital of Iceland ?????
About €6.50
------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 19-April-2010 at 14:48
|
Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit a fire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can't have your kayak and heat it too. A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. Soon the manager came out and asked them to disperse. "But why," one asked. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
|
Posted By: Pogue Mahoney
Date Posted: 20-April-2010 at 04:25
|
2 muffins in an oven.
They're both getting baked. And one of them says " It's very hot in here!" And the other muffin replies "Yikes, a talking muffin!" |
Posted By: DONDON
Date Posted: 20-April-2010 at 14:27
|
A tourist rents a camel from an old Bedouin, who tells him, "It's a very capricious animal, sometimes it stops and won't continue." "What do I do then?" "You take these two bricks I give you, and when it stops, you get down, walk behind it, and (*smash*) crush its balls between the bricks!" "God, it must hurt terribly!" "No, look, if you hold them this way, with your thumbs on the upper side, it doesn't hurt at all." ------------- Grover from 73(old Grove) In the year of the bankers and developers When recession raged across the land there were many driven by the hopelessness to set sail for the Americas and Australia |
Posted By: BrendanFella
Date Posted: 20-April-2010 at 14:39
|
There are only TEN of us.....5 boys, 5 girls. But the poor older brother was born first and then 5 girls so he never had a brother to play with. He's a bitter ole' geezer to this day...LOL ------------- BrendanFella IRISH DIPLOMACY IS....The ability to tell a man to Go To Hell so that He looks forward to making the trip. |
Humour in life is so important. It doesn't really matter if we all laugh at different things...as long as we laugh. It makes you feel so good doesn't it?