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Joke !!!
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ShortHairHippie View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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86-present

Joined: 28-February-2008
Location: Balbriggan (ex Clontarf)
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Points: 12744 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShortHairHippie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27-July-2024 at 12:57
Pat,viagra might be Willie's friend...
upon us all,a little rain must fall
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Biker Pat View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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72-75

Joined: 26-April-2005
Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti
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Points: 39022 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Biker Pat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27-July-2024 at 18:46
Originally posted by ShortHairHippie ShortHairHippie wrote:

Pat,viagra might be Willie's friend...

😂😂😂😂😂
May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.



Biker Pat



Grove 1972-1975
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Biker Pat View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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72-75

Joined: 26-April-2005
Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti
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Points: 39022 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Biker Pat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30-July-2024 at 21:41
The mother-in-law stopped by the recently married couple’s house unexpectedly. She rang the doorbell and stepped inside, where she saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my Love Dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love Dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy, and it makes me happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home from work any minute.” The mother-in-law, tired of all this romantic talk, left.

On the way home, she thought about the Love Dress. When she got home, she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, and waited by the front door.

Finally, her husband got home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

“What are you doing?” he exclaimed.

“This is my Love Dress,” she replied.

“Needs ironing,” he said.

😂😂😂
May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.



Biker Pat



Grove 1972-1975
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ShortHairHippie View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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86-present

Joined: 28-February-2008
Location: Balbriggan (ex Clontarf)
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Points: 12744 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShortHairHippie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31-July-2024 at 10:40
a true love story...I recently got turned down for a date from a 36 year old woman,who said I (51) was too old...maybe my love suit needs ironing too...
upon us all,a little rain must fall
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Biker Pat View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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72-75

Joined: 26-April-2005
Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti
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Points: 39022 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Biker Pat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31-July-2024 at 16:42
Lol Sean 😂😂😂
May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.



Biker Pat



Grove 1972-1975
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ShortHairHippie View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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86-present

Joined: 28-February-2008
Location: Balbriggan (ex Clontarf)
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Points: 12744 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShortHairHippie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01-August-2024 at 10:36
Pat,I wasn't impressed at a 36 year old saying that...I'd prefer if she had said no,because I was an asshole,or something...but my age ?
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Pogue Mahoney View Drop Down
I have no life!
I have no life!
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68-71

Joined: 08-February-2006
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Points: 5281 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pogue Mahoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02-August-2024 at 02:52
Ahh Sean, No hope for me. I have been rejected because I'm 71 and a total asshole...and sadder still that was by my wife Smile






.


Edited by Pogue Mahoney - 02-August-2024 at 03:09
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ShortHairHippie View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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86-present

Joined: 28-February-2008
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Points: 12744 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ShortHairHippie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02-August-2024 at 11:22
Pogue,at least you got to wife stage,I can't even get to date stage...
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Biker Pat View Drop Down
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72-75

Joined: 26-April-2005
Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti
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Points: 39022 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Biker Pat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08-October-2024 at 14:58
Joke courtesy Derek Farrell. 😂😂

A wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset."

"You are a disrēspêctful pīg!" she cried.

"How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce, NOW!"

The husband calmly replied. Hang on just a minute love. At least let me tell you what happened."

"Fine, go ahead", the wife sobbed, "but they will be the last words you say to me!"

The husband began:

"Well, as I was getting into the car at work to drive home, this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so distressed, helpless and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car."

"She was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty and told me that she hadn't eaten for three days."

"Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the pizza I made for you last night that you wouldn’t eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing ate it, ravenously."

"She was dirty. I suggested she have a shower. While showering, I noticed her Clothes were filthy and threadbare. I threw them away."

"I gave her the designer jeans that you’ve had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight."

"I gave her underwear, your anniversary present from me, which you don’t wear because you said I don't have good taste."
"I gave her the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her. 

"I also donated those boots you bought at an expensive boutique but don’t Wear because someone at work has the same pair."

The husband paused, took a quick breath and continued:

"She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, “Please Sir... do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?"
May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.



Biker Pat



Grove 1972-1975
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Biker Pat View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
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72-75

Joined: 26-April-2005
Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti
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Points: 39022 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Biker Pat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08-October-2024 at 22:37
President Lincoln was approached by a woman after a political speech… If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Lincoln replied...if you are my wife I’ll gladly drink it.
May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.



Biker Pat



Grove 1972-1975
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Biker Pat View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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72-75

Joined: 26-April-2005
Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti
Status: Offline
Points: 39022 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Biker Pat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-November-2024 at 11:46
You have to feel sorry for Jonathan Ross, he's just spent two weeks in Powys, thinking that he'd booked for a fortnight in the French Capital City 😂😂😂
May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.



Biker Pat



Grove 1972-1975
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Biker Pat View Drop Down
I spend too much time here!!!
I spend too much time here!!!
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72-75

Joined: 26-April-2005
Location: Swords, Co Dublin (ex Celti
Status: Offline
Points: 39022 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Biker Pat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 3 hours 50 minutes ago at 17:20
This made me laugh 😃 

It happened at a New York Airport. This is hilarious. I wish I had the guts of this girl. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you.
A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first; and then I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention, please?", she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please
come to Gate 14".
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,
the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, "F*** You!"
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry sir,
you'll have to get in line for that, too."
Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.
May be going to hell in a bucket but at least I'm enjoying the ride.



Biker Pat



Grove 1972-1975
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