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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 07:29

......which by now has been reduced to the sum total of the following,

Two ex RUC Armoured Cars,complete with handcuffs and hoods,three ex US Army Sherman Tanks which fell off the back of a plane at Shannon,fourteen bicycles left over from the War of Independence and seventy three soldiers marching around and around the drill square at Collins' Barracks completely unawares that the Barracks closed down years ago and is now part of the National Museum.

Meanwhile,fresh from his ride on the ejector seat, Magnus hurtles towards the ground and lands on.................

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 08:26

....his feet, standing up and now facing Bill, Gill, Phil & the return of Dev he quickly picks up where he left off and goes straight into the next question!

In what year did......

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote xgrovehead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 09:29
Women get the vote in Switzerland?  1971 says Dev and quite right too - we gave them the vote far too early.  With that a giant Gucci handbag comes sailing out of the sky and knocks Dev into smithereens.  A ghostly voice says "Theres far too many dead people in this story" and the rest of dead ones scarper leaving Bill to say..
We have not inherited the earth from our ancestors, we have only borrowed it from our children.
-Ancient Proverb.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 09:53

....ah hell kick a hog in the ass....

With this out run's Diane and Sarah with Danial running behind them with a pair of rubber gloves on his hands.... come ere to me yis....

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 10:17
..............fine pieces of English Totty,come here to me 'til I...........
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 10:40
pull those tights off ye!  Come ere ye Rooster ye.... come over here to uncle Danny - said in his best Donegal accent...
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 10:43

At this point Daniel's Mammy,having served the tea and  scones,washed the dishes and hoovered up all the crumbs comes out of the house.She looks disgustedly at Daniel as he lustily chases after Diana and Sarah.

" Daniel " she roars," leave those two trollopes alone , get back in here,what about .........................

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 10:46
your one in the cellar?..... Ah Mammy will ye ever feck off out of that sure I haven't seen young girls like this in donkeys year....with that Mammy hits him a belt and Danial starts crying.....
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Noodles Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 15:37

.......for his dummy (soother,pacifier or whatever you call it now.)

" Oh for God's sake, Daniel " says the Mammy before she...............

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 15:42

..........heads back into the house,having completely given up on Daniel. " If he wants to lust after that pair of yokes,let him " she thinks to herself." I'm off to check out that Magnus bloke,I like the look of him."

Sarah and Diana,who have by now outrun poor Daniel,leaving him in a heap on the roadside and have decided to...........

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 16:39
.....hop over the fence as Fergie needed to pee.... no sooner were they in the field when Fergie drops her drawers only to expose her big white royal bare arse when who but Bill Clinton should casually walk by and say "nice arse there Sarah" ... she got such a fright that she jumped up and caught Diana right under the chin knocking her out cold....
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote star Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03-March-2006 at 19:02
where ere the magic tights u need them thought Sarah now blushing like a baboons arse....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote xgrovehead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04-March-2006 at 08:44
Which in a strange coincidence is what Bill had hanging out of his arm (well a full baboon - not just an arse!).  "Hi Ladies have we met before?" he says eyeing up Diana and she spreadeagled on the ground.  The baboon starts circling Sarah and she's getting a bit nervous, when to her great relief Diana regains consciousness, jumps up and ....

Edited by xgrovehead
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04-March-2006 at 10:15
says to Sarah "will you pull up your drawers"!!! Bill hands her the tights which she pulls on..... all done and dusted the 3 of them climb back over the fence and proceed to the......
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04-March-2006 at 10:55
....house where by now,Daniel's missus having finally been freed from the cellar by Phil and Gill has started to.............
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04-March-2006 at 18:36
piss herself laughing... after all will ya just look at the state of everyone, they are all stoned.....Phil lights up another one.....
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rolo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05-March-2006 at 09:38

...........before he launches into yet another timeless classic...........

" As I was going over.............

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Noodles Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05-March-2006 at 09:58

..............to my mammy's for my breakfast "

continues Daniel,who has managed to find his way back to the house following his failed pursuit of the two ladies ( and who is also fed up having to listen to all these Rock Songs being performed by dead people.)

Meanwhile,far away in another part of town...............

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote xgrovehead Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05-March-2006 at 12:41
(Well not that far as Donegal towns aren't known for their great size), a poteen maker was preparing a batch of brew for illegal sale when who walks into his shebeen but.......
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote eejit91 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05-March-2006 at 18:02
the local Mother superior.... "top me up there she says to John John the local poteen maker".... and in his best cork accent he replies "What's going on Sister, are you having some folk in tonight"... "I am says she"with a big smile exposing all of her 3 teeth...."I'm having Daniel over with all of his friends for a feast at the convent"...."I should be on my way now as they will be there shortly"....
"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better."
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